Coronavirus and Custody Issues Can be Chaotic

Those relationships that were inevitable for dissolution have been given new challenges as we continue to navigate the COVID-19 pandemic.  Many people are finding themselves working from home while caring for and schooling young children, which creates enormous stress. Especially if you are the spouse that has been charged with teaching Algebra or Scientific Theory.  In situations where a marital relationship was already suffering before the parties were forced into shelter in place the boiling point may be reached.

Feelings of hopelessness and stagnation are compounded with courts being closed except for true emergencies.  In addition to ending a marriage and battling over custody issues one can almost lose their minds.  If this seems like you, there are some tips to help you cope with the chaos.

1. Perfect is Not Real. Recognize that trying to work from home, care for children, school children, cook, clean, make dinner, etc., all while navigating the uncertainty, is hard! Don’t beat yourself up. The perfect is the enemy of the good. Your children will not be scarred forever if not all if school assignments are completed perfectly, or if screens are used to allow you to get a few hours of work done. Just do the best you can, and don’t be fooled by the pictures of perfection portrayed on social media.

2. Mental health is an Important Exercise. If at all possible, try to engage in some form of self-care each day. Take a walk or engage in some other form of exercise several days per week to clear your head. If exercise is not your thing, spend at least a half an hour each day doing an activity you enjoy.  Taking a half hour to an hour and just closing your eyes in a dark room without any distractions can do wonders for strengthening your mind.

3. Use the 6 foot rule at home. If things between you and your spouse are on shaky ground, try to come to an understanding about personal space for each of you. If it is possible, have one spouse move into a downstairs space while the other spouse remains in an upstairs space. This can allow room for each spouse to breathe and reduce conflict.

4. Conduct Conflict Quietly.   This is easier said than done of course, but it is important to shield the children from as much conflict as much as possible. Children who witness, or worse, are put in the middle of, conflict between their parents experience higher incidents of stress, anxiety, and depression.  We will all get through this and if done right, we can get through this without having long lasting negative effects on the children.

5. There is Help. While Courts are closed, most attorneys are working remotely and can continue to help you navigate you through, or even fast track, your divorce matter. Mediators and conciliators are still working, and many are assisting with cases via phone or video conference. Some judges in some states are even willing to hear uncontested matters via video conference or allow agreements administratively. The closing of the Courts does not have to stagnate progress especially if you are in dire straits.

6. Protection is Available. The Courts are open for urgent matters, including restraining orders and requests to have a spouse vacated from the home. If circumstances get to a point such that you are in fear of imminent physical, bodily harm or the situation is threatening the health, safety or welfare of you, or your children, you should call the police and/or seek out the assistance of an attorney who can work with you to file the necessary emergency paperwork in Court.

There is light at the end of the tunnel as all of us go through these trying times.  However, life will return to normal.

Having an attorney with the resources and knowledge to give you the best representation is vital to your interest and the interest of your family.  You also want to make sure they will exhaust all avenues and be willing to research, pursue and implement strategies to provide the best possible outcome.

Rob McAngus, Partner with Verner Brumley Parker, P.C., is Board Certified in family Law and his practice is devoted primarily to family law, including high conflict divorce, custody cases, and complex property issues. In addition to being selected on the Board of Directors for the Family Law Section of the Dallas Bar Association; he values your priorities as a parent and works with you to achieve the goals that will help transition your family to a new normal.  As both an adopted child and a member of a blended family, Rob can provide a unique perspective in the practice of family law.

Rob has been recognized in Super Lawyers as a Rising Star in 2016 through 2020, and recently The National Advocates recognized Rob as one of the Top 40 Under 40.  He can be reached by calling 214.526.5234 or email at rmcangus@vernerbrumley.com.  Mr. McAngus received his bachelor’s degree cum laude and master’s degree from Baylor University and graduated cum laude from the Dedman School of Law at Southern Methodist University.