Those
relationships that were inevitable for dissolution have been given new
challenges as we continue to navigate the COVID-19 pandemic. Many people are finding themselves working
from home while caring for and schooling young children, which creates enormous
stress. Especially if you are the spouse that has been charged with teaching
Algebra or Scientific Theory. In
situations where a marital relationship was already suffering before the
parties were forced into shelter in place the boiling point may be reached.
Feelings
of hopelessness and stagnation are compounded with courts being closed except
for true emergencies. In addition to
ending a marriage and battling over custody issues one can almost lose their
minds. If this seems like you, there are
some tips to help you cope with the chaos.
1. Perfect is Not Real. Recognize that trying to work
from home, care for children, school children, cook, clean, make dinner, etc.,
all while navigating the uncertainty, is hard! Don’t beat yourself up. The
perfect is the enemy of the good. Your children will not be scarred forever if
not all if school assignments are completed perfectly, or if screens are used
to allow you to get a few hours of work done. Just do the best you can, and
don’t be fooled by the pictures of perfection portrayed on social media.
2. Mental health is an Important Exercise. If at all
possible, try to engage in some form of self-care each day. Take a walk or
engage in some other form of exercise several days per week to clear your head.
If exercise is not your thing, spend at least a half an hour each day doing an
activity you enjoy. Taking a half hour
to an hour and just closing your eyes in a dark room without any distractions
can do wonders for strengthening your mind.
3. Use the 6 foot rule at home. If things
between you and your spouse are on shaky ground, try to come to an
understanding about personal space for each of you. If it is possible, have one
spouse move into a downstairs space while the other spouse remains in an
upstairs space. This can allow room for each spouse to breathe and reduce
conflict.
4. Conduct Conflict Quietly. This is easier said than done of course, but
it is important to shield the children from as much conflict as much as
possible. Children who witness, or worse, are put in the middle of, conflict
between their parents experience higher incidents of stress, anxiety, and
depression. We will all get through this
and if done right, we can get through this without having long lasting negative
effects on the children.
5. There is Help. While Courts are closed, most attorneys
are working remotely and can continue to help you navigate you through, or even
fast track, your divorce matter. Mediators and conciliators are still working,
and many are assisting with cases via phone or video conference. Some judges in
some states are even willing to hear uncontested matters via video conference or
allow agreements administratively. The closing of the Courts does not have to
stagnate progress especially if you are in dire straits.
6. Protection is Available. The Courts are
open for urgent matters, including restraining orders and requests to have a
spouse vacated from the home. If circumstances get to a point such that you are
in fear of imminent physical, bodily harm or the situation is threatening the
health, safety or welfare of you, or your children, you should call the police
and/or seek out the assistance of an attorney who can work with you to file the
necessary emergency paperwork in Court.
There
is light at the end of the tunnel as all of us go through these trying
times. However, life will return to
normal.
Having an attorney with the resources and knowledge to give
you the best representation is vital to your interest and the interest of your
family. You also want to make sure they
will exhaust all avenues and be willing to research, pursue and implement
strategies to provide the best possible outcome.
Rob McAngus,
Partner with Verner Brumley Parker, P.C., is Board Certified in family Law and
his practice is devoted primarily to family law, including high conflict divorce,
custody cases, and complex property issues. In addition to being selected on
the Board of Directors for the Family Law Section of the Dallas Bar
Association; he values your priorities as a parent and works with you to
achieve the goals that will help transition your family to a new normal. As both an adopted child and a member of a
blended family, Rob can provide a unique perspective in the practice of family
law.
Rob has been recognized in Super Lawyers as a Rising Star in
2016 through 2020, and recently The National Advocates recognized Rob as one of
the Top 40 Under 40. He can be reached
by calling 214.526.5234 or email at rmcangus@vernerbrumley.com. Mr. McAngus received his bachelor’s degree
cum laude and master’s degree from Baylor University and graduated cum laude
from the Dedman School of Law at Southern Methodist University.
