Sadly, many times when a Father is facing a divorce they often assume the worst and takes on a very negative outlook of the road ahead. If you are preparing for a divorce as a father you should be aware of your rights and do not assume that your relationship with your children is going to be permanently harmed or that you do not have a chance to win primary custody. Understanding your rights and changing your outlook can have a positive impact on your mental health and even the outcome of your case.
As a dad, it is natural to be concerned for your children and spend most of your time looking out for their wellbeing both at home and away. One of the most important aspects of your life preparing for a divorce is doing your best to remain amicable with your spouse and working together to find the best co-parenting solution. Keep in mind your house will no longer feel like a home and some times it is best for you to separate, however, you should not do so prior to reaching an agreement on how time will be split with your children. Ideally, you will be able to reach a 50/50 agreement without needing temporary orders from the court. This is not always achievable, especially if the divorce is a contested divorce. Whether you decide to remain in your marital home or not, it is not likely a good idea to attempt to hide the divorce from the kids. They will almost certainly detect that something is wrong between you and your partner and kids have difficulty understanding these complex situations and can internalize negative feelings and emotions. Instead, you should have a sit-down with your children to best prepare them for the road ahead and ensure their needs, questions, and thoughts are carefully heard and considered.
Many well-intentioned fathers ask this question of our attorneys frequently. The assumption in a divorce case is that women and mothers always are named primary conservators. This is not the case. Fathers are fully able to win primary custody of their children. You will be happy to learn that there is nothing in the Texas family code that gives an advantage to women over men in this regard.
However, what does provide mothers an advantage in this situation is that they more frequently take on the role of primary conservator before the divorce. Again, think about which parent out of you and your spouse takes care of the children more. Bear in mind that just because you are the parent who works outside the home it is not the most frequent caregiver does not make you a bad parent. This is the parenting role that you have taken on alongside your spouse in raising your kids. Hopefully, it has worked out for the two of you to this point.
Understanding that there is no inherent advantage to being a mother in a divorce should give you reason for optimism. Many fathers assume the worst as they head into a divorce scenario. Many of these assumptions are unfounded and not based on reality. Sometimes we even hear stories from friends or coworkers that are not true, or are distorted versions of the truth. Do not let yourself get discouraged by second hand stories, your attorney will work with you to get the best outcome for yourself and most importantly, provide counsel on how to best look after the needs of any children involved.
Having an attorney with the resources and knowledge to give you the best representation is vital to your interest and the interest of your family. You also want to make sure they will exhaust all avenues and be willing to research, pursue and implement strategies to provide the best possible outcome.
Rob McAngus, Partner with Verner Brumley Parker, P.C., is Board Certified in family Law and his practice is devoted primarily to family law, including high conflict divorce, custody cases, and complex property issues. In addition to being selected on the Board of Directors for the Family Law Section of the Dallas Bar Association; he values your priorities as a parent and works with you to achieve the goals that will help transition your family to a new normal. As both an adopted child and a member of a blended family, Rob can provide a unique perspective in the practice of family law.
Rob has been recognized in Super Lawyers as a Rising Star in 2016 through 2021, and recently The National Advocates recognized Rob as one of the Top 40 Under 40. He can be reached by calling 214.526.5234 or email at rmcangus@vernerbrumley.com. Mr. McAngus received his bachelor’s degree cum laude and master’s degree from Baylor University and graduated cum laude from the Dedman School of Law at Southern Methodist University.
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