Why Long-Term Marriages End in Divorce

 Recently, there has been an uptick in the dissolution of marriages that have ended after twenty-five to thirty-five years.  There are several reasons why “gray” or “salt and pepper” divorces are becoming more prevalent today.  Although these couples are not yet considered elderly, there is an interest in seeing these unions that have dissolved which is unprecedented from the past.

There are many causes in addition to the COVID-19 delta variant causing renewed uncertainty, many older couples are once again facing exacerbated tensions.  Midlife crises and health issues are often at the root of these break-ups.

 

The loss of love and intimacy is a common cause of “salt and pepper” divorces are a waning desire for intimacy after many years together. A common divorce stereotype is that older men will ask for a divorce when they already have someone else who is more exciting and willing to take care of them. For women, the divorce stereotype is that their husbands have grown older faster than they have, and they have more energy later in life. There could be affairs for both men and women, that their spouses have suspected or known about for years, but have put off confronting or seeking divorce until they feel the time is more advantageous to their personal situation.

 

Unfortunately, the COVID-19 pandemic has lasted longer than anyone anticipated, many people in marriages where one spouse is satisfied with a more celibate relationship and the other are not, may have realized that life is too short to live this way. They are propelled and compelled to seek a divorce to spend their remaining years either contently alone or in an intimate relationship with someone new.

 

The taboos surrounding older divorces have lessened as the average lifespan has increased from previous generations.  Over the course of several decades, many couples realize that they have “outgrown” their spouse or have “grown apart.” Before the pandemic, many couples were willing to put in more effort despite the mundane day-to-day routines together. However, over the past year and a half, many of these couples have been unable to do much of anything spontaneous to see if the relationship can be salvaged.

 

Professional growth, or lack thereof, is another major factor that causes rifts that have harmed long-term marriages. Professional differences have led to control battles in relationships over what to do next, including whether to take on new responsibilities at the expense of time with their spouse and family or take a new job that is below one’s position, or even weighing whether to retire earlier than anticipated.

Having an attorney with the resources and knowledge to give you the best representation is vital to your interest and the interest of your family.  You also want to make sure they will exhaust all avenues and be willing to research, pursue and implement strategies to provide the best possible outcome.

Rob McAngus, Partner with Verner Brumley Parker, P.C., is Board Certified in Family Law and his practice is devoted primarily to family law, including high conflict divorce, custody cases, and complex property issues. In addition to being selected on the Board of Directors for the Family Law Section of the Dallas Bar Association; he values your priorities as a parent and works with you to achieve the goals that will help transition your family to a new normal.  As both an adopted child and a member of a blended family, Rob can provide a unique perspective in the practice of family law.

Rob has been recognized in Super Lawyers as a Rising Star in 2016 through 2021, and recently The National Advocates recognized Rob as one of the Top 40 Under 40.  He can be reached by calling 214.526.5234 or by email at rmcangus@vernerbrumley.com.  Mr. McAngus received his bachelor’s degree cum laude and master’s degree from Baylor University and graduated cum laude from the Dedman School of Law at Southern Methodist University.