After you finalize a divorce, it is important to remember that there is no “one size fits all” approach to your self-healing. Every person is different, and they will recover differently. With that in mind, here are a few tips that are worth considering as you begin your journey toward a new life.
Prioritize Your Self-Care
This is a vulnerable time for you and it is vital that you take good care of yourself. Self-care comes in many forms, but it always means that you honor your mental, physical, and emotional needs. Focus on yourself by ensuring that you eat a nutritious diet, get plenty of exercise, adhere to a good sleep schedule, and engage in any hobbies that you are passionate about.
Remember What You Are Grateful For
It may feel as though everything around you is falling apart – which is why you must take care to remember the blessings you do have in your life. Research shows that focusing on your gratitude can have a profound impact on your overall happiness, self-esteem, and sense of compassion toward others.
Rediscover What Makes You Happy
Your life before marriage may have looked very different. It is natural for people to sacrifice some of their identities to meld better with their partner, and this is usually not done intentionally. However, this may leave you feeling discombobulated following a divorce.
Now is the perfect time for your self-discovery. Find what makes you feel happy and alive. Perhaps there are some hobbies you enjoyed before your marriage that you no longer engage in. Picking up interests from your single life before marriage can greatly help you move forward.
Avoid Numbing Behaviors
It is common to deal with stress by drinking, using drugs, overeating, or compulsively shopping. One of every six American adults binge drinks multiple times each month. Some of these habits may not inherently indicate a severe problem, but they should never be your only coping skills. Numbing your emotions is a temporary fix and do not take your pain away, rather they prolong it. While it is difficult to face your uncomfortable feelings, doing so will be one of the best gifts you can give yourself.
Set Communication Boundaries with Your Ex
Divorce will trigger messy feelings and continued conversations with your former spouse can exacerbate your stress. That is why it is important to consider how, when, and what you choose to communicate to your ex. There are no right-or-wrong answers. If you have children, you will inevitably need to communicate and co-parent with your former spouse. Still, it is rarely helpful to maintain a friendship in the immediate aftermath of a divorce. Set boundaries that allow you to fully process your emotions and allow yourself to heal.
Be Kind to Yourself
While it may sound cliché, it is important to provide compassion to yourself following a divorce. You need to be loving, forgiving, and patient with yourself. Practice internal kindness by engaging in positive affirmations each day, reducing toxic people or behaviors in your life, setting healthy boundaries, and reaching out for support when you need it.
Remember that self-compassion is not a destination, it is a journey that you take each day. Embarking on this journey will make you stronger, more in control of your emotions, and able to handle adversity.
Working with an experienced attorney can help guide you through the process of a divorce.
Rob McAngus, Partner with Verner Brumley Parker, P.C., is Board Certified in family Law and his practice is devoted primarily to family law, including high conflict divorce, custody cases, and complex property issues. In addition to being selected on the Board of Directors for the Family Law Section of the Dallas Bar Association; he values your priorities as a parent and works with you to achieve the goals that will help transition your family to a new normal. As both an adopted child and a member of a blended family, Rob can provide a unique perspective in the practice of family law.
Rob has been recognized in Super Lawyers as a Rising Star in 2016 through 2021, and recently The National Advocates recognized Rob as one of the Top 40 Under 40. He can be reached by calling 214.526.5234 or email at rmcangus@vernerbrumley.com. Mr. McAngus received his bachelor’s degree cum laude and master’s degree from Baylor University and graduated cum laude from the Dedman School of Law at Southern Methodist University.
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