There are few things more stressful in life than going through a divorce. Not only is it a painful and emotional process, but for most, it’s also a logistical and expense-laden ordeal. Experiencing high levels of stress while navigating a divorce is a given for most people. For many, it can make just getting through basic daily tasks a challenge. There are some useful and proven methods that can help ease the stress of a divorce.
Acknowledge your feelings
It’s OK to not be OK. Recognizing how you feel and examining those feelings can help you learn to manage them.
When a marriage breaks up, there’s a mourning period. It’s the end of the life you and your spouse once shared. Feeling sad, angry, disappointed, and scared is natural. Ignoring these feelings won’t make them go away.
Practice positive self-talk
It’s common when going through a divorce for negative thoughts to become overwhelming. You may think you’re to blame or feel that you’ve let down your family.
Remember that divorce is complicated and it’s never the fault of just one partner.
A 2019 study found that positive self-talk — whether it’s done silently in your head or out loud in a car or to the mirror — can help improve your mental state and increase self-confidence and self-efficacy.
Try not to live in the past
It’s tempting to play the “woulda, coulda, shoulda” game with ourselves. When our present is really uncomfortable, our minds will want to escape to the past. And if you’re going through a divorce that you didn’t want, you’ll be especially vulnerable to dwelling on your past.
Let people help
The people in your life who care about you will want to help — consider letting them. Putting your discomfort and pride away and allowing yourself to lean on people you trust can be helpful for easing stress.
Consider connecting with others who are going through similar challenges. Support groups are a great way to build support and community around shared life experiences.
Avoid the divorce diet
Research from 2020 discusses how healthy eating can help you cope with stress. It’s easy to forget this when you’re feeling at your wit’s end.
Too often we skip meals, overeat, or just eat whatever is easily accessible. Try to make a concerted effort to put together healthy, balanced meals, skipping meals full of processed sugar and refined carbs.
Cutting back on caffeine and alcohol as much as possible can also be helpful.
Healthy eating can also help boost your immune system, raise your energy levels, and provide the internal balance required to cope with the stress of a divorce.
Move your body
One of the best anti-stress tools is exercise.
Movement releases endorphins, which can help expend pent-up negative energy and allow you to focus. Whether you hit the gym or take long walks, exercise is one of the best options for coping with stress.
Balance your sleep
Try to get the right amount of sleep for you — not too much and not too little. Depression and anxiety can cause either of those things to happen.
Aiming for the standard 7-8 hours as a goal and keeping a regular schedule can be helpful for easing stress.
Rob McAngus, Partner with Verner Brumley Parker, P.C., is Board Certified in Family Law and his practice is devoted primarily to family law, including high-conflict divorce, custody cases, and complex property issues. In addition to being selected on the Board of Directors for the Family Law Section of the Dallas Bar Association; he values your priorities as a parent and works with you to achieve the goals that will help transition your family to a new normal. As both an adopted child and a member of a blended family, Rob can provide a unique perspective in the practice of family law.
Rob has been recognized in Super Lawyers as a Rising Star in 2016 through 2020, and recently The National Advocates recognized Rob as one of the Top 40 Under 40. He can be reached by calling 214.526.5234 or email at rmcangus@vernerbrumley.com. Mr. McAngus received his bachelor’s degree cum laude and master’s degree from Baylor University and graduated cum laude from the Dedman School of Law at Southern Methodist University.
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