Ending a Marriage after Decades Together

It seems the more we watch the news the more we see some of the wealthiest couples in the world are getting a divorce after decades of being married.  Bill and Melinda Gates, the Bezos and others have decided to dissolve their union.  Some people in the media call these “gray” divorces and others have coined the phrase “Salt and Pepper Divorces” because most often these couples are not considered elderly.

This is not a surprise to many divorce attorneys because the Covid-19 pandemic has brought many couples closer together, but for others it has highlighted marital tensions that have existed under the surface for decades.  Now that the government restrictions over the past year are being relaxed, many older couples are deciding to address these issues and contemplating divorce.

For many of these couples who have been married for decades and deciding to end their long-term marriage; they are more likely to divorce at or near the end of accumulating income from their prime working years.  It is important to understand that after the dissolution that whatever assets remain may have to last them the rest of their lives.  This especially holds true to a spouse who was the non-earner during the relationship may not be able to force the other spouse who is past common retirement age to continue working to pay spousal support.  The likelihood of what will be left for these couples is passive income from assets that are subject to capital gains tax if sold.  Other items to be aware of are those who have income tied to previously cash-producing real estate assets that have taken a hit due to rent abatement, rent freezes, and eviction moratoriums.  Many are waiting to see if the economy and the value of their assets will become stable before pursuing a divorce, or they are capitalizing on the depressed economy to try and extract a valuation advantage.

Custody of children are less of an issue because most of the children are grown to an adult age.  However many of these couples might feel reluctant to break up a family that still gathers for events and holidays, or even losing control over seeing grandchildren.  Women tend to be more likely than men to stay in a flawed marriage for these reasons.  Similar reasons of staying in an unhealthy marriage have to do with having elderly parents who are still alive.

Health and healthcare circumstances has become a leading factor in causing divorces as well.    The feeling that we have one life to live combined with spending time with a partner who is less willing to take care of themselves, whether it be with regard to nutrition and exercise, abusing drugs and alcohol, or not taking COVID-19 safety precautions seriously, is leading to breakups. When one partner lives an active lifestyle and the other is less willing to travel, exercise, or even leave home, the tension can take its toll.  More than any other area, one’s psychological health takes the biggest hit in divorce at any age.

Having an attorney with the resources and knowledge to give you the best representation is vital to your interest and the interest of your family.  You also want to make sure they will exhaust all avenues and be willing to research, pursue and implement strategies to provide the best possible outcome.

Rob McAngus, Partner with Verner Brumley Parker, P.C., is Board Certified in family Law and his practice is devoted primarily to family law, including high conflict divorce, custody cases, and complex property issues. In addition to being selected on the Board of Directors for the Family Law Section of the Dallas Bar Association; he values your priorities as a parent and works with you to achieve the goals that will help transition your family to a new normal.  As both an adopted child and a member of a blended family, Rob can provide a unique perspective in the practice of family law.

Rob has been recognized in Super Lawyers as a Rising Star in 2016 through 2021, and recently The National Advocates recognized Rob as one of the Top 40 Under 40.  He can be reached by calling 214.526.5234 or email at rmcangus@vernerbrumley.com.  Mr. McAngus received his bachelor’s degree cum laude and master’s degree from Baylor University and graduated cum laude from the Dedman School of Law at Southern Methodist University.