What we can Learn from the Gates Divorce

One of the richest men in the world, and by all accounts having a perfect marriage in the eyes of the public has just come to an end.  The announcement by Bill and Melinda Gates that they were ending their 27-year marriage shocked many, but what was even more shocking was how amicable it appeared. We hear horror stories about how contentious, emotional, and difficult divorces can be. Many are, where just the mere thought of engaging in any financial and emotional warfare that may result is incentive enough to keep spouses together.

Nobody gets into a marriage thinking it will end and there is never a perfect way to end a long-term marriage.  However, the Gates divorce has provided some lessons to be learned from the way the Gates approached the filing of divorce that can help to make the process easier. Here are four tips for a successful, and less stressful, divorce.

1. Planning in advance. While Melinda filed the divorce petition just this month, the planning started two years earlier. Melinda reportedly started speaking to lawyers back in 2019. The information a lawyer can provide you about the process, financial division, support, and the steps you may need to take to protect yourself financially prior to the filing of the divorce is invaluable. Talking to a lawyer early allows you to plan and make informed decisions before you are at a point where you feel the need to rush through the divorce process.
2. Waiting for the children to graduate high school. While it is not possible and feasible to wait if your children are very young if, as in this case, waiting a couple of years means the youngest child will have all graduated from high school, the issues will be much more streamlined. In most states, once children are 18 and graduated from high school, there are no longer issues of child support and custody to discuss. The custody and financial support of the children is often bitterly contested in divorce. By waiting until their youngest child graduated from high school, the Gates were able to avoid issues involving the children. They also had children old enough to discuss with them in advance the fact the parties were separating, allowing the adult children to process the information before it became public.
3. Preparing the agreement in advance. When a divorce is inevitable, resolving the division of assets and financial issues in advance can save time and money later. If the parties do not have a premarital agreement (the Gates did not), the parties may wish to consider a postnuptial agreement. A postnuptial agreement divides the assets and liabilities while married, and can then be used as the agreement at the time of divorce. Alternatively, the parties may begin negotiations of an agreement in advance of filing for divorce, with the final agreement incorporated into the final decree. The agreement should contain provisions for disposition of martial property, confirmation of separate property to each spouse, maintenance and support, as well as custody and parenting time for any minor children. Resolving differences in advance will avoid the need to proceed to trial later.
4. Speaking kindly about each other. Part of what was so surprising for people about the announcement of the divorce by the Gates, is that no one had heard them speak negatively about each other. In fact, in the first episode of the Netflix documentary “Inside Bill’s Brain: Decoding Bills Gates” (produced in 2019) one of Bill’s friends remarks (now quite ironically) about how Bill is the only married man he has never heard say anything negative about his wife. The fact is that the best divorce, especially when the parties have children, is when the two parties can still appreciate the life they once shared together and can move forward, while perhaps not with the same admiration and respect they once had for each other, without hating each other.

A perfect divorce can be much easier if you are dividing up billions of assets like the Gates or Bezos versus allocating substantial debt.   However, it is also possible to take some of those lessons learned and make any divorce as equitable, amicable, and respectful as possible.

Rob McAngus, Partner with Verner Brumley Parker, P.C., is Board Certified in family Law and his practice is devoted primarily to family law, including high conflict divorce, custody cases, and complex property issues. In addition to being selected on the Board of Directors for the Family Law Section of the Dallas Bar Association; he values your priorities as a parent and works with you to achieve the goals that will help transition your family to a new normal.  As both an adopted child and a member of a blended family, Rob can provide a unique perspective in the practice of family law.

 

Rob has been recognized in Super Lawyers as a Rising Star in 2016 through 2020, and recently The National Advocates recognized Rob as one of the Top 40 Under 40.  He can be reached by calling 214.526.5234 or email at rmcangus@vernerbrumley.com.  Mr. McAngus received his bachelor’s degree cum laude and master’s degree from Baylor University and graduated cum laude from the Dedman School of Law at Southern Methodist University.