Alcohol and Substance Abuse During a Divorce

Alcohol and substance use disorders (including alcohol and controlled substances like cocaine, heroin, and opioids) are increasing in many parts of the United States, with significant impacts on those affected and their families. For couples who are divorcing, alcohol or substance use disorders can have a substantial effect on parenting time, custody, and, under certain limited circumstances, division of marital assets. Impacts on the relationship between the spouses and the children can also be significant. Many families and individuals benefit from individual and/or family, along with other mental health interventions such as rehabilitation programs, group therapy, and medications. Along with therapeutic supports of various kinds, any spouse who is in the middle of a divorce involving alcohol or substance use disorder (including both the spouse who suffers from alcohol or substance use disorder and the spouse who does not) would benefit from counsel with significant experience in these types of divorce matters, which require both sensitivity and zealous advocacy.

Legal Custody

Under Massachusetts law, absent an emergency, abuse or neglect, once either parent has filed for divorce, the parents have temporary shared legal custody of their minor children. However, a judge can order temporary sole legal custody to one parent, provided the judge makes written findings that shared legal custody would not be in the best interests of the children. This can occur when a parent’s ability to make decisions in the best interests of their children is impaired by substance use, when they are unavailable due to an inpatient recovery or rehabilitation program, or when they are otherwise unable or unavailable to make decisions for their children given the impact of their use of alcohol or controlled substances.

Parenting Time

There is no presumption as to what parenting plan should apply in a divorce. Rather, the Court will order the parenting plan that it considers to be in the best interests of the children.

Similar to legal custody, substance or alcohol use disorder can impact the parenting plan because one parent is not able to care for the children due to impairment, or because one parent is attending an inpatient recovery or rehabilitation program. Some parents’ path to recovery involves significant time spent at Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA) meetings or group therapy sessions, sometimes on a daily or almost daily basis. If that parent also has a full-time or even part-time job, they may simply not be available to care for the children on a regular basis due to those commitments. This may be temporary, and that parent may be able to seek and obtain parenting time, or additional parenting time, as they continue in treatment for alcohol or substance use disorder.

Alcohol and Controlled Substance Testing

Where one parent suffers from substance use disorder, the Court may order them to undergo alcohol or controlled substance testing. This could involve one-time testing, such as a hair follicle drug test or other drug or alcohol test administered at the Court. More typically, testing is ongoing, and may be ordered to occur before and during that parent’s parenting time, or daily if the parent has frequent parenting time. Testing can involve an alcohol testing device that the parent blows into to register their blood alcohol level, which is then typically, but not always, sent contemporaneously to the other parent via text message or email. Other testing may include a breathalyzer attached to the ignition of a parent’s car, or weekly, monthly, or random alcohol or drug testing at a laboratory.

A well-drafted order, judgment or agreement will include consequences for a failed, missed, or late drug or alcohol test, which may include suspension of a parent’s parenting time, a requirement that a parent’s parenting time be supervised by a family member or professional parenting time supervisor, or review by the Court. An order or agreement requiring testing may include changes to the frequency of testing after all tests have been negative for a certain period, possibly resulting in testing being eliminated entirely after tests have been consistently negative for a significant period of time.

Abuse

Some individuals who suffer from alcohol or substance use disorder may physically, mentally, or psychologically abuse their spouse (although, of course, not all who suffer from alcohol or substance use disorder are abusive, and not all abusers suffer from a mental or physical illness). Under Massachusetts law, if the Court finds that a pattern or serious incident of abuse has occurred and issues a temporary or permanent custody order, the Court is required to enter written findings of fact as to the effects of the abuse on the children. Those findings must demonstrate that the order is in the children’s best interests and provides for the safety and well-being of the children.

If the Court grants an abusive parent parenting time with the children, the Court is required to provide for the safety and well-being of the children and the safety of the abused parent. The Court can:

 

• order an exchange of the children to occur in a protected setting or in the presence of an appropriate third party;
• order parenting time to be supervised by an appropriate third party, visitation center or agency;
• order the abusive parent to attend and complete a certified batterer’s treatment program as a condition of parenting time;
• order the abusive parent to abstain from possession or consumption of alcohol or controlled substances during parenting time and for twenty-four hours preceding it;
• order the abusive parent to pay the costs of supervised visitation;
• prohibit overnight parenting;
• require a bond from the abusive parent for the return and safety of the children;
• order an investigation or appointment of a guardian ad litem or attorney for the children; and
• impose any other condition that is deemed necessary to provide for the safety and well-being of the children and the safety of the abused parent.

Asset Division

Alcohol and substance use disorder can have some impact on asset division in limited circumstances. The Court will not “punish” one spouse financially for suffering from alcohol or substance use disorder but may grant the other spouse additional marital assets if it is shown that the spouse dissipated marital assets on controlled substances and/or alcohol. The Court treats alcohol and substance use disorder as a medical condition, and offsets for dissipation on alcohol or controlled substances only occur in unusual circumstances, such as where the dissipation is significant, particularly in proportion to the spouses’ overall assets.

Divorce can be one of the most difficult things a person has to endure, and can involve incredible grief, loss, and rupture to relationships of all types, including family and friends. If alcohol or controlled substance use disorder is also involved, this can create a volatile situation for both spouses and children of the marriage. If your divorce intersects with alcohol or substance use disorder in any way, it is essential to consult with an experienced attorney who can help you navigate the complex problems that may arise, as well as the significant impacts that alcohol and substance use can have on myriad issues in divorce.

Accurately Completing a Financial Statement During Divorce

 Everyone who obtains a divorce in Massachusetts will have to file a crucial document at least once in their case: a financial statement. The importance of an accurate financial statement cannot be overstated, particularly in highly-contested divorce cases. Under Rule 401 of the Supplemental Probate and Family Court Rule, parties are required to file financial statements with the Court within 45 days of service of the summons (which is the notice issued by the Court after the Complaint for Divorce is filed and which the Plaintiff must serve on the Defendant). The parties are also required to update and file new financial statements in advance of each court appearance at which financial relief is sought by either party, as well as at a pre-trial and trial. A party who earns less than $75,000 per year will complete the short-form financial statement, while a party who earns $75,000 per year or more will complete the long-form financial statement.

While only the long form financial statement requires the notarization of the party’s signature, both the short form and the long form are signed under the penalties of perjury. A party signing a financial statement must certify that the information contained therein is true, accurate, and complete. A willful misrepresentation on a financial statement can subject the party to sanctions, including criminal penalties. Although we have never seen anyone criminally punished for the information contained in or missing from a financial statement, we have seen litigants suffer significant consequences from their failure to take the necessary time to accurately complete the financial statement – namely, losing credibility in front of the trial judge. If a trial judge determines a party is not credible on financial matters, this can have considerable ramifications for how the judge will rule on issues of alimony, child support, and division of assets. It can be an even bigger issue if financial statements that were filed and relied upon multiple times during the case and in issuing temporary orders turn out not to have been accurate or not to have included a full disclosure of assets, liabilities, income and expenses. It is absolutely critical to take the time to accurately fill out the financial statement and to do so with the assistance of counsel.

When completing a financial statement, it is helpful to refer to the following documents:

• Paystubs
• Tax returns
• Income Reporting Forms W2, K-1 and 1099
• Bank, investment account, and retirement account statements and screenshots showing current balances
• Loan statements
• Appraisals of real estate, jewelry, and other assets
• Credit card statements

The financial statement form contains lines for suggested sources of income, including wages, overtime, commissions, bonus, and dividends, and interest, among many others. All types of income must be listed, even if there is no line on the form for your particular type of income. In light of recent case law, you also need to list employer contributions to a 401(k) or health savings account. If you are self-employed, you must complete Schedule A. If you have rental income, you must complete Schedule B for each rental property.

The financial statement also requires the disclosure of weekly expenses. When listing weekly expenses, the amount listed should not be a guess, but should be based upon real spending habits. The Court will look to expenses to determine lifestyle and need for alimony. Review six months to a year’s worth of bank and credit card records to calculate your true living expenses. Keep in mind that your electric bill may be significantly higher in the summer, while your home heating oil or gas may be significantly higher in the winter, and generally, the number reported should be based on the total amount spent annually. Remember that you may regularly spend money on something that is not listed on the financial statement – be sure to add it. This may include amounts set aside for savings, which can also be a component of marital lifestyle.

The same holds true for assets. You should list all assets in which you have an interest, even if the form does not contain a category for such an asset – such as an interest in trust, ownership of a rare coin collection, ownership of a business, or even frequent flyer miles, Venmo, PayPal, Cash App, cryptocurrency, health savings or dependent care accounts, and anything else of value. All assets must be listed. If you do not have a value for a particular asset or the item is being appraised, the asset should still be disclosed with an indication that the value is presently unknown or subject to appraisal.

The accuracy and thoroughness on every single financial statement filled out over the course of your divorce are incredibly important. While it is a lot of work, taking the time to carefully and accurately fill out the form with the assistance of counsel can save you from the pain of a difficult cross-examination at trial – or worse, including an unfavorable result.

Rob McAngus | Understanding Spousal Maintenance

Did you know that spousal maintenance in Texas has a maximum duration and specific termination conditions? Dive into this episode to uncover the intricacies of spousal support laws, how they affect divorce proceedings and essential advice for family lawyers.

In this episode, Rob McAngus, Partner at Verner Brumley Mueller Parker, P.C. and board-certified in family law, reveals the nuanced world of spousal maintenance in Texas and offers invaluable wisdom for family law attorneys.

You’ll discover…

• The difference between spousal maintenance and alimony, and why Texas has unique rules.
• Key factors courts consider when determining the minimum reasonable needs test.
• Real-life examples of disability cases and their implications on spousal maintenance rulings.
• How family violence convictions impact spousal maintenance eligibility.
• Essential advice from Rob McAngus on building a legal document repository.

Gray Divorce and Retirement Accounts: Dividing Assets in Later-Life Separations

 When couples get married, they often plan for their future together, including their retirement. However, sometimes, couples may need to divide their retirement accounts during a later-life separation, commonly known as a "gray divorce." This can be a complicated and emotional process, but it's important to know your options and rights when it comes to dividing assets. Here are some important things to consider when it comes to gray divorce and retirement accounts:

Understand the Different Types of Retirement Accounts

There are several types of retirement accounts, including 401(k)s, IRAs, and pensions. Each type of account has its own rules and regulations when it comes to dividing assets during a divorce. It's important to understand the specifics of each account, as well as any tax implications that may arise from dividing these assets.

Consider Mediation as an Option

Dividing assets during a divorce can be a contentious process, but mediation can help both parties reach a mutually beneficial agreement. Mediation allows couples to work together to divide their assets, rather than leaving it up to a judge to make a decision. This can save time, money, and emotional stress during the divorce process.

Know Your Rights and Options

When it comes to dividing retirement accounts during a divorce, it's important to know your rights and options. For example, a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) allows for the division of certain retirement accounts without incurring tax penalties. It's also important to consider any spousal support agreements that may impact the division of assets.

Seek Professional Advice

Dividing retirement accounts during a gray divorce can be a complicated and emotional process. It's important to seek professional advice from a family law attorney with experience in this area. A knowledgeable attorney can help guide you through the process, ensure your rights are protected, and help you make informed decisions about your future.

In conclusion, gray divorce and retirement account division can be a difficult process, but it's important to understand your options and rights. Seeking professional advice and considering mediation can help make the process smoother and more manageable. Contact Verner Brumley Mueller Parker PC for experienced legal guidance and support if you're facing a gray divorce. 

Tips for Moving on After a Divorce

 After you finalize a divorce, it is important to remember that there is no “one size fits all” approach to your self-healing. Every person is different, and they will recover differently. With that in mind, here are a few tips that are worth considering as you begin your journey toward a new life.

Prioritize Your Self-Care

This is a vulnerable time for you and it is vital that you take good care of yourself. Self-care comes in many forms, but it always means that you honor your mental, physical, and emotional needs. Focus on yourself by ensuring that you eat a nutritious diet, get plenty of exercise, adhere to a good sleep schedule, and engage in any hobbies that you are passionate about.

Remember What You Are Grateful For

It may feel as though everything around you is falling apart – which is why you must take care to remember the blessings you do have in your life. Research shows that focusing on your gratitude can have a profound impact on your overall happiness, self-esteem, and sense of compassion toward others.

Rediscover What Makes You Happy

Your life before marriage may have looked very different. It is natural for people to sacrifice some of their identities to meld better with their partner, and this is usually not done intentionally. However, this may leave you feeling discombobulated following a divorce.

Now is the perfect time for your self-discovery. Find what makes you feel happy and alive. Perhaps there are some hobbies you enjoyed before your marriage that you no longer engage in. Picking up interests from your single life before marriage can greatly help you move forward.

Avoid Numbing Behaviors

It is common to deal with stress by drinking, using drugs, overeating, or compulsively shopping. One of every six American adults binge drinks multiple times each month. Some of these habits may not inherently indicate a severe problem, but they should never be your only coping skills. Numbing your emotions is a temporary fix and do not take your pain away, rather they prolong it. While it is difficult to face your uncomfortable feelings, doing so will be one of the best gifts you can give yourself.

Set Communication Boundaries with Your Ex

Divorce will trigger messy feelings and continued conversations with your former spouse can exacerbate your stress. That is why it is important to consider how, when, and what you choose to communicate to your ex. There are no right-or-wrong answers. If you have children, you will inevitably need to communicate and co-parent with your former spouse. Still, it is rarely helpful to maintain a friendship in the immediate aftermath of a divorce. Set boundaries that allow you to fully process your emotions and allow yourself to heal.

Be Kind to Yourself

While it may sound cliché, it is important to provide compassion to yourself following a divorce. You need to be loving, forgiving, and patient with yourself. Practice internal kindness by engaging in positive affirmations each day, reducing toxic people or behaviors in your life, setting healthy boundaries, and reaching out for support when you need it.

Remember that self-compassion is not a destination, it is a journey that you take each day. Embarking on this journey will make you stronger, more in control of your emotions, and able to handle adversity.

Working with an experienced attorney can help guide you through the process of a divorce.

Rob McAngus, Partner with Verner Brumley Parker, P.C., is Board Certified in family Law and his practice is devoted primarily to family law, including high conflict divorce, custody cases, and complex property issues. In addition to being selected on the Board of Directors for the Family Law Section of the Dallas Bar Association; he values your priorities as a parent and works with you to achieve the goals that will help transition your family to a new normal.  As both an adopted child and a member of a blended family, Rob can provide a unique perspective in the practice of family law.

Rob has been recognized in Super Lawyers as a Rising Star in 2016 through 2021, and recently The National Advocates recognized Rob as one of the Top 40 Under 40.  He can be reached by calling 214.526.5234 or email at rmcangus@vernerbrumley.com.  Mr. McAngus received his bachelor’s degree cum laude and master’s degree from Baylor University and graduated cum laude from the Dedman School of Law at Southern Methodist University.

Items Often Overlooked in Divorce

 When it comes to a divorce, it is not solely up to a judge to make all the decisions. A crucial part of any divorce is working with an attorney to help develop an agreement between you and your spouse. This helps you keep some amount of control of the result.

Even still, you should remain vigilant about some critical issues that are commonly overlooked when couples are in the negotiating phase of an agreement. Avoiding these mistakes can save you money and prevent unnecessary stress. A skilled divorce lawyer will know to address these issues, but the better prepared you are before beginning any legal process will only serve your emotional and financial interests in the future.

Overlooked Assets

Sometimes, one spouse may legitimately forget about assets that are not immediately obvious to them and fail to disclose these assets in the divorce process. Old retirement accounts, frequent flyer miles, experimental investments such as purchases of cryptocurrency, as well as intellectual property can easily be overlooked and left out of the final agreement dividing these potentially valuable assets. But it may be that a party-spouse takes deliberate steps to hide, omit or divert attention and access to such assets. Discovery – the formal legal exercise of obtaining records about assets and liabilities, among other things, from the other party – is often necessary so that a thorough investigation of your property can be conducted. Remember to provide your attorney with any information relating to safety deposit boxes, vacation properties/timeshares, credit card rewards points, and any intellectual or creative property you may have.

Debts

Assets (“positives”) are not the only thing being divided in a divorce. Debts (“negatives”) must be accounted for as well. People commonly overlook assets, but it is even easier to overlook outstanding debts because people do not enjoy thinking about them or even admitting they have debt. If you are contemplating a divorce, you should pull a current copy of your credit report as well as any statements reflecting debts to which you have access so that your attorney has a clear picture of the debts associated with your name and strategize a plan on how to allocate these debts before the divorce is finalized.  

Taxes

No one is a fan of the I.R.S. and they are a common enemy for both spouses during a divorce. The parties should each get ahead of this issue by consulting with an accountant or financial planner (or both) of that party’s individual choice to determine the best way to minimize their tax liability, both pre- and post-divorce. It is also important to consider the after-tax value of investments when dividing them. Finally, don’t forget to address the allocation of tax refunds (or liabilities), child tax credits/dependency exemptions, as well as carry-forward losses if such tax assets are applicable to your marital estate and case.

Inflation

Inflation can also play a factor in the division of assets in divorce. The value of certain financial assets, offset by certain expenses, should take inflation into account, to the extent this element is quantifiable. For example, one spouse agreeing to cover the cost of college for a child should be aware that said costs are capable of doubling in less than 15 years due to inflation.

There are many considerations and pitfalls you will want to avoid during and after a divorce. Working with an experienced attorney will ensure that commonly overlooked items are addressed so that you may begin your post-divorce life in the best position possible.

Rob McAngus, Partner with Verner Brumley Parker, P.C., is Board Certified in family Law and his practice is devoted primarily to family law, including high conflict divorce, custody cases, and complex property issues. In addition to being selected on the Board of Directors for the Family Law Section of the Dallas Bar Association; he values your priorities as a parent and works with you to achieve the goals that will help transition your family to a new normal.  As both an adopted child and a member of a blended family, Rob can provide a unique perspective in the practice of family law.

Rob has been recognized in Super Lawyers as a Rising Star in 2016 through 2021, and recently The National Advocates recognized Rob as one of the Top 40 Under 40.  He can be reached by calling 214.526.5234 or email at rmcangus@vernerbrumley.com.  Mr. McAngus received his bachelor’s degree cum laude and master’s degree from Baylor University and graduated cum laude from the Dedman School of Law at Southern Methodist University.

Avoiding the Unhealthy ‘Divorce Diet’

 Many of us are happy to suddenly shed some pounds after the holidays, but unexpected weight-loss can have devastating effects on your overall health. Especially during a divorce, most infamously known as the “Divorce Diet.” While you may welcome a few less pounds, these losses are usually the result of too much stress and brought on by skipping meals or poor nutrition during a difficult time.

Many people going through a divorce say they feel so stressed out that they do not have a desire to eat or often simply forget to sit down for routine meals. The taste of food may make them gag and the idea of cooking a healthy meal can feel overwhelming. This involuntary starvation only adds to your stress levels and impairs your ability to concentrate and make the best decisions. Good decision-making ability during a divorce is more important than ever as you want to begin your new life as a single person or single parent on the best foot possible. Here are some healthy ways to cope with this added stress and ensure that you do not fall into the ‘Divorce Diet’ trap.

Do Not Neglect Medical and/or Psychological Care

If you normally have doctor or therapy appointments, it is important that you make time to keep them. The stress of a divorce can cause any person to neglect their usual self-care routines. Insomnia is often a side-effect of divorce and combining that with a decreased appetite may cause depression. Your medical or mental-health professional can help ensure that your body is functioning properly, and the path ahead will feel much more manageable when you are operating efficiently.

Eat Frequent, Small Meals

If the thought of food makes you feel nauseous or stressed, it is understandable to skip meals. Instead, you should opt to take in smaller meals more frequently throughout the day. Smaller meals are less daunting to prepare and will ensure your body is receiving the sustenance it needs. Stock your kitchen with healthy items such as nuts, cheese sticks, hummus, yogurt, and vegetables that are easy to snack on. Try to eat something every few hours, even if you don’t feel hungry. Simple grab-and-go foods are easy to digest and keep your mind and body sharp.

Ensure Your Coping in Healthy Ways

Divorce brings a lot of challenging feelings and a wide range of emotions. While there is nothing wrong with spending the occasional night at home binge-watching your favorite show, but routinely seeking solace in isolation can inhibit your ability to stay on task with your family and work obligations. Also, avoid spending hours on social media and find constructive ways to engage emotionally. Developing new hobbies or exercising routinely can help boost your endorphins naturally while also sending signals to your body when it is time to eat.

Do Not Allow the Divorce to Deplete Your Energy

Any weight you lose from meal skipping will most likely reappear, and often be accompanied by even more unwanted pounds once the stress of this life transition has passed. When you visit the grocery store be sure to grab some nutritious snacks such as fresh fruit or even pre-packaged protein bars so that you have a healthy supply of food on hand at all times. Eating consistently and properly will be a huge help as you navigate the stress of divorce, but it will provide the energy you need to manage it.

Rob McAngus, Partner with Verner Brumley Parker, P.C., is Board Certified in family Law and his practice is devoted primarily to family law, including high conflict divorce, custody cases, and complex property issues. In addition to being selected on the Board of Directors for the Family Law Section of the Dallas Bar Association; he values your priorities as a parent and works with you to achieve the goals that will help transition your family to a new normal.  As both an adopted child and a member of a blended family, Rob can provide a unique perspective in the practice of family law.

Rob has been recognized in Super Lawyers as a Rising Star in 2016 through 2021, and recently The National Advocates recognized Rob as one of the Top 40 Under 40.  He can be reached by calling 214.526.5234 or email at rmcangus@vernerbrumley.com.  Mr. McAngus received his bachelor’s degree cum laude and master’s degree from Baylor University and graduated cum laude from the Dedman School of Law at Southern Methodist University.